If you and your spouse are struggling with your relationship, you might consider going to see a therapist. This is a courageous approach that requires time and emotional investment. As an experienced Tysons Corner, VA therapist – including those who practice at Lindsey Hoskins & Associates – can confirm, for couples therapy to work effectively, you and your partner should be willing to consider the following emotional tools… if not immediately, then as soon as your growth as individuals and as a couple will allow:


When both parties in a marriage or other committed romantic relationship cooperate and willingly go to therapy, there is a higher success rate than when just one of the partners is cooperating. 

An Open Mind

Perhaps you’re going into marriage counseling with the idea that your spouse is the problem in the relationship. It’s important that you keep an open mind about the situation, realizing you have probably – although not necessarily – contributed to the issues as well. For example, if your spouse is an addict, that’s a medical struggle that they endure. However, it is possible that you have unknowingly developed some coping mechanisms that aren’t healthy and may be contributing to your overall relationship challenges as well. 

A Willingness to Grow

Going along with that open mind, you’ll want to cultivate a willingness to grow. Some may say that you shouldn’t have to evolve to have a successful marriage, but life is all about change. If you want your marriage to last, you’ll probably have to consciously make some changes on your own. That doesn’t mean you’ll have to lose your identity or become someone you’re not (which would be unhealthy and counterproductive), but it may mean making compromises so that your relationship can survive.


Pride isn’t going to save your marriage. If you’re looking for a way to get your marriage back on track, you’ll have to practice humility in your therapy sessions. If you’re cooperating with an open mind, it will be easier for you to realize when you’ve made a mistake so you can apologize for it. 

A Desire to Love

Many couples who are in marriage counseling feel they’ve fallen out of love, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Be willing to grow a desire to love your spouse again. With that desire, love can begin to grow into a new, healthier marriage than you had before.